The first cut is the deepest, but the second and third hurt too

I forewarn anyone who is about to read this by explaining this is a rant. Nothing more and nothing less. And the person this is about probably won't even read it, so this is just for me to let out the hurt I am feeling.

Yesterday I sat across from her as she tore my book apart. Anxiously I had waited more than two weeks for her editing and critique, but was unprepared for what came my way. My friend made fun of my book both orally and in her written notes. I expected constructive critisism from one of the most intelligent and articulate people I know. Some of it was constructive: outline the key plot points in the book, list the reasons they are important, and flesh out the rest. Specific examples were given as to why she felt certain character interactions were uneccesary or unbelievable. But then she made fun of my book. She laughed as I sat there holding back the tears. I don't even think she noticed my tears because she just kept on going. She quoted some of my own words back to me in a mocking way. Then she told me she glossed over certian parts entirely. Glossed over them? WTF! This was destructive.

This was the second time I asked for her help with my novel. The first time I waited and waited and waited for her feedback. The first time I wasn't so patient as I pestered her with text messages about her progress. I made sure this time around to be patient. After two weeks of waiting she gave me an hour of her time because she made other plans that day with another friend. And when I asked her what she liked about the book her face went blank and it was the first time she was silent. She had to actively think about anything positive, but when it came to stuff she didn't like she went on and on and on. So I asked her about specific parts of the book, my favorite parts, but she didn't like those parts either.

In the end I will probably use about 90% of her suggestions because they were good, but her delivery of these ideas was insensitive and cruel. Okay, I get it, she didn't like the book. However this was something I slaved on for months and she could have been a bit more respectful. I don't expect her to sugar coat or pacify me, but she KNEW how much this book meant to me and she metaphorically crumpled it up and kicked it in the corner. Maybe because she isn't a writer herself she just doesn't get it and then the blame can be put on me for expecting too much of her, such as empathy.

I am hurt. I am angry. I am mortified. I would have expected this from a stranger such as a professional editor or agent, but not someone who is one of my closest friends. In the end I'll get over it, rewrite this book to make it even better that it currently is which according to her is complete crap (not her exact words, just the impression I got) and figure out what I'll do from this point forward. I know what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but my ego and confidence are a bit bruised at the moment.