What's Really Been Going On

As many of you know last October I ended up in the ER for digestive track problems and the truth is I haven't bounced back since. I'll be okay for a few days or a couple of weeks and then I get real sick again to the point where I can't get out of bed.

For once I wasn't advertising something major that's been going on in my life. Actually for being someone who believes in complete honestly I was flat out withholding this from the people closest to me and in some cases even lying about how I was feeling. I didn't want to keep feeling like I was a burden to people, I didn't want to worry anyone, and I figured it was best to just deal with it on my own. Obviously my reasoning is completely idiotic.

The truth is I don't want to go through this alone anymore. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me, so they're running more tests. Am I dying? NO, but I'm not doing so well either. I'm scared.

To all the people I kept in the dark, I am sorry. I'd like to unofficially thank "Gavin" for showing me that shutting people out who care about you unnecessarily hurts them. And I want to thank Jannessa for telling me "When someone loves you, they won't consider you a burden."