New Attitude

I am pretty sure I have admitted this before, but I completely suck at dating. There must be people out there outside of the fictional world that actually get this stuff and if there are I sincerely hope I run into one so they can become my Yoda.

Some guys much like my shower run hot one minute and then completely cold the next. They like you, tell you they think you're amazing, and then disappear. This has happened to me before because I was too aggressive, too sexual, too friendly, too honest. The point is I always seemed to be a bit too much of something that said guy couldn't handle.

I know I am supposed to play it cool and let the guy chase me for a little bit, but I believe I also previously stated that I don't play games. It's a waste of everyone's time. If I like someone I am not afraid to tell them and in most cases pursue them. Why is this such a foreign concept to so many people? There are certain girls I personally know that barely end one relationship/fling/fuck buddy situation and already have the next person lined up. What's their secret? Better yet maybe I don't want to know.

Much like with my friendships, I tend to be very compassionate and patient about certain perceived short comings in the other person. It is rare this same courtesy is extended to me. Yes I am a quirky somewhat neurotic person. Believe me I have been working hard at smoothing out some edges, but honestly I'm not looking to completely rewrite my personality because some of these quirks are essential to who I am. And someone who can't accept all of me doesn't deserve any of me.

So this last person that shall remain unnamed is super interested one minute and then not the next. We have amazing phone conversations, then I don't hear from him. We'll be texting and he'll just stop...He'll say he likes me and can't wait to hang out again but then weirds out when I try to make plans with him. If I mention the words "date" or "dating" he clams up and assumes I want us to get married or something. Don't flatter yourself. I've been deliberately single because I am being choosy about who I eventually end up in a relationship with and at this right it most likely won't be you.

Maybe it's that whole evolution thing happening again, but I know what I deserve and what I don't. While I don't want a boyfriend/serious relationship anytime soon I do like the idea of spending time with someone and getting to know them. I don't like feeling like I am the one making all the moves or putting in most of the effort. That's an old pattern of mine I don't intend to revive.

This is me seeing and saying what good friends have been telling me for years: I am smart, beautiful, funny, and sweet. Do I have flaws? Absolutely, but I finally see myself as so much more than those flaws and the right guy will too. In the past I would have settled for sitting by my phone waiting for some guy to text/call me, well not anymore. If he doesn't see a good thing in front of him then that is him, NOT me.

Some of you are reading this thinking "Finally Laura, you're starting to get it!" It may take me a while, but eventually it sinks in. It's like that movie He's Just Not That Into You, if a guy wants to make it happen then he will and if he doesn't then he won't. I'm looking for a guy who wants to make things happen with me. Until then I am fine living my life and doing my own thing.