Figured You Out...

While cruising in my car to work jamming to Nickleback's "Figured You Out" it hit me about that crazy little thing called love/infatuation/lust. It's so easy for us to fall for the beautiful, smart, funny, well rounded person. Well not many of those exist, so how about the rest of us damaged folks out there? Isn't it our quirks and imperfections that REALLY make us who we are? Let's have some fun with this...

I like your crooked yellow teeth
I like your complete unreliability
I like your promiscuity with your twice weekly orgies
You're so fucked up it I feel better about me

I love the fact you have no car
I love you get so drunk you don't know where you are
I love you'd rather collect unemployment then get a real job
You smell like a bum in heat and you're a giant slob

And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard just to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you
And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard just to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you


I like your constant flatulence
You've got more metal than a chain linked fence
I like you failed your GED which makes me feel smart when you're with me
I like your dysfunctional family

And I love the way you're always broke
I love your highly offensive jokes
I love how you still live at home because you refuse to be all grown
I love your musty old lady breath


And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard just to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you
And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard just to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you

::instrumental interlude::

I like your bold faced lies to me
I like how children find you creepy
And I like your devious schemes to hurt nice people just for fun
All this made me realize you might just be the one

I love that you fall off the grid
I love you keep calling me Sid, my name is John
I love that you are always late and can't ever commit to a date
I love that I am one of many guys traveling down between your thighs

And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you
And now I know who you are, it wasn't that hard just to figure you out
Googled you, Facebooked you