My Journey

Most women/girls can get a bit obsessive over the way they look and I am certainly no different. With me my main focus was always and probably always will be my weight. Looking back I always had some extra cushioning and was mercilessly teased for this in my formative years. I watched with envy as girls around me ate whatever they wanted while still maintaining these slender physiques. What was equally annoying were the skinny girls that constantly bitched about how fat they were when it was incredibly obvious they weren't.

For the past two decades I have become what is commonly referred to as the "yo-yo dieter". I lose, then I gain it all back plus a little extra. My biggest successes have been through Weight Watchers when I was 15, then 26, then 28.

At the beginning of 2011 it no longer became some mission about vanity. I was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease, early stages, but if not taken care of it would progress to possible cirrhosis in the future. I made some positive changes to my health for a few weeks then resorted back to my old ways because mentally I just wasn't ready to deal with it all. Later in the year I was diagnosed with Re-occurring Colitis.

Think about it Laura. You are only thirty years old and you are destroying your body. The time of making excuses needed to stop. So what if I know other people who are far heavier than me and don't have these issues. They are not me. How many more health issues do I need before I take a serious look at my life and the horrible direction it's heading.

Over the summer both my parents went back to Weight Watchers. They would fill me in every week on their progress and kept trying to convince me that I should go back too. Stubborn as I was I kept saying "maybe" or "eventually" or insert random lame excuse. When I saw them Thanksgiving I was blown away at how amazing they both looked. As they have done countless times before, my parents inspired me.

12/13/11 I rejoined Weight Watchers. This time it would be different because this time I am different. I began planning my meals 1-2 weeks out ahead of time. I gave myself the option to be more flexible on the weekends while staying more regimented during the week. I made the commitment to weigh in EVERY week and attend meetings on a regular basis unless there was some extreme circumstance where I couldn't (massive snowstorm).

This is a promise I made to myself. I am not doing this to attract men, I am not doing this to compete with thinner/better looking people I know, I am not doing this to seek social acceptance. There is one reason alone, I am doing this to give myself the best chance at a long, happy, fulfilling life. Don't I deserve this? The answer seems so obvious even though I have been ignoring it for years.

My heaviest weight peaked around 176 sometime last spring. Needless to say most of my clothes didn't fit me. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I had anxiety attacks pretty much on a daily basis. When I officially joined Weight Watchers again I weighed in at 167.4. Eight weeks later I am 156.8, 10.6 pounds down. Thankfully I have lost every week so far, but I know that won't necessarily always be the case. This time around I am setting a reasonable goal of 5 pounds per month. My ultimate goal is around 115 pounds which I should reach around next October. I am also waiting until I am around 150 to start exercising again as my feet are in pretty bad shape from supporting all the extra weight.

I am excited, hopeful, and committed to making this a lifestyle instead of some quick fix.