It is What It is

The problem is that Melissa really liked Gavin, but deep down she knew he wasn't the guy for her. Obviously she didn't want to date a personality clone of herself, but there needed to be some basic commonalities to establish a connection. She's a social butterfly, he's more of a loner. She's a romantic, he's anti-romance. She's a fan of spending time with the people she likes, he prefers having as much personal space as possible. She likes movies, he avoids them. She's a planner, he saves things until the very last minute.

She inhaled deeply before dialing his number. This was the first time she would be on this end of the "it's not working out" conversation and she hadn't considered just how hard it might be. Things would have been different and so much easier if she could write him off as an asshole like other guys she's been involved with. The problem was that Gavin was an honest and decent guy who just lacked certain basic social skills needed in a healthy functioning relationship.

Melissa had dated every type of guy there was or so she thought, until she met Gavin. It was kind of cliche that this was someone who liked her so much he was afraid of it. It seems like such a line guys use, but in this case it was actually true. Dating scared her too. Opening up to someone, being intimate, allowing a trust to form are all pretty intimidating because of that giant unknown, that leap of faith you're taking in that other person. She wasn't an idiot although maybe the fact that she had taken the leap so many times before and fallen flat on her face proved otherwise.

She wanted to try with him. He did not. It's not fair to begrudge him after all we have this crazy little thing called free will. The pseudo rejection just stung a bit. She could understand being interested in a guy that wasn't interested in her, it happened quite frequently. Also almost just as often was her strong interest in a guy who was only mildly interested in her. What confused her with this scenerio was that there was a mutual interest, yet the guy was running away from it.

It was almost an out of body experience hearing her own voice say these things to him, the feelings she had been holding back about how his actions had hurt her. All these old doubts began racing through her head as to why she wasn't good enough for him. And then there were the tears she had been fighting for over a week. He listened, he apologized, and he said he didn't want to lose her as a friend. The conversation went as well as it could have for what it was.

Afterwards she thought to herself "Did this really just happen?" That's the risk you take when you throw yourself back into the dating world. The reality is that it won't work out the vast majority of the time, but when it does it could be something incredible. Love really is a battlefield.

Maybe it's not such a coincidence that so many hopeless romantics are also drunks?