The Reason Was Dave

In the late 90's there was a Gwenyth Paltrow movie called "Sliding Doors". The premise behind it was that about ten seconds seperated this character from the life she currently led into a completely different one: whether she made it into the subway or not. The movie is split between the two scenerios and how her life played out because of this one event.

How many of us look back at events from our past thinking "What if I had gone the other way?"

My sophomore year of college I found myself in an unsual situation: two guys that wanted to date me. One was *Steve, a boy I had a strong sexual attraction to and then there was *Jake, someone I had a strong mental connection with. My heart told me Jake would be the better boyfriend because he was sweet, honest, and the type of person I could talk to for hours. Jake had very little experience when it came to relationships or sex, but I liked this about him because it meant he wasn't jaded. Steve was jaded coming from an on again off again on again relationship with a girl that openly cheated on him. Steve was more attractive, more sexually experienced, and all around more popular than Jake. I was nineteen which meant I followed my hormones instead of my head.

The relationship only lasted two weeks before Steve dumped me on my birthday for his bestfriend. I tried to see if Jake was still a viable option, but he had moved on. Smart guy refusing to be second place. I blew it with a great guy. For years I wondered what would have happened if I had chosen Jake? Would things have worked out better? Would I have remained friends with Steve? Suddenly I realized there was a completely viable third option: choose neither. Growing older and gaining some perspective does a funny thing to you sometimes.

Here's the thing because I chose Steve it led to a chain of events both good and bad to unfold in my life. One of the greatest things was that I took time off from school and met Dave. Nine years later Dave is one of the most important people to me in my life; I call him my "Brousin" because he's closer to me than a cousin yet not quite like a brother to me. Dave is someone who can handle all my insanity, someone who's sincere and passionate, and above all else loyal. Dave traveled over a thousand miles to attend my wedding in South Carolina. Dave called me when he heard through the grapevine that I was having a tough time adjusting to my life back in NY. Dave never judges, berates, or lectures me no matter how deserving I may be of it. He just loves and accepts me with my 100 quirks and all.

So looking back I made the right choice in the long run. Everything happens for a reason, you may not know the reason at the time or agree with the reason once you know it, but there is in fact a reason.