Learning How To Love

I can't whistle and whenever I announce this to people they feel the need to showboat whistle in front of me. I understand the basic mechanics behind it, but for some reason I just can't execute it. And that's okay by me, I have survived 29 years without whistling and gotten by just fine: my marriage, my career, and my overall well being don't depend on my whistling ability. Still it would be fun to do, but I've learned to deal with it...

Some things just come naturally to people like shooting a 3-pointer, playing the drums, or creating a culinary masterpiece. I can't do those things either. Something I have ALWAYS been good at is love. Loving others is a skill in my opinion. Opening your heart up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is not something everyone can do, but for me it comes naturally. I am a self proclaimed cuddle slut; enjoy cuddling and basically any means of physical affection. Sometimes I have to learn to tone it down because there are people in my life who are not as affectionate as I am or simply prefer their personal space.

I attribute my ability to love to the household I grew up in. My parents were very big on hugs and "I love yous", so maybe it was a combination of nature and nurture. And when you're growing up you can fall into this mindset that every family is just like yours when that couldn't be further from the truth. It got me thinking about my total opposite out there, the person who struggled with love because no one ever taught them how.

In "The Journey" Dani (Danielle) Harris has two parents whose marriage is more of a business relationship than a romance. Her childhood home is devoid of almost all human emotion. Both parents are so wrapped up in their careers they simply don't have time or care to spend quality time with their daughters. At sixteen years old Dani has never once uttered the words "I love you" to anyone in her life. Dani is also uncomfortable with affection of any kind even from her boyfriend of early three years. In the novel each character has a specific journey and for Dani it's learning how to love, not just romantically, but in general because there are so many types of love. Some of you out there who are similar to me in your ability to love might not understand it, but if you think about how you gained your specific skill it's most likely a product of the environment you came from. I know that's the case with me. There are other things going on with Dani that make her keep people at arms length because a part of her feels unworthy of love when others offer it to her.

Will Dani figure it out or will she remain stuck in her ways? Just one more reason to read "The Journey"...