Romance and Indigestion

Anyone who knows me or at least reads my blog can see that I'm a woman who has had no shortage of passions in her life. There is one relationship though that stands out above all the others. What we had has lasted most of my life and was riddled with drama. And no matter what we've been through together I don't know if I can ever see myself completely walking away. This time I will not change names to protect the innocent. This time I will bare it all because it's a story that needs to be told. If I can prevent even one person from repeating my mistakes then it'll be well worth it.

I can't remember the fine details of when we first crossed paths, but I know I was real young and completely unaware of the powers of seduction she would have over me for years to come. To this day I have never put my lips on anything finer. The pleasure, the pain, the pleasure, the pain keeps me in this torturous cycle I'm unable to break from. So many have told me I should know better. I should, sometimes I do, most of the time I don't. If you've ever seen us together than you would know just how happy we can be.

CHEESE.

American. Cheddar. Mozzarella. Fontanella. Brie. Gouda. Pepper Jack. Parmesan. The only kind I ever came across that I didn't enjoy was Blue Cheese. Yuck. Often I would order sandwiches, burgers, and wraps with the explicit instructions "put every kind of cheese you have on it." Their eyes would bulge out of their heads, but I didn't stutter. Give me my cheesy fix dammit!

Indigestion. Constipation. Nausea. Acid reflex. Heartburn. High Cholesterol. When it happened I would swear that it was the last time I indulged in this sordid romance again. My departure was always short and sweet. How could I deny something so good even if it was so bad?! The risk seemed well worth it. Even this past January when I was diagnosed with early stage Fatty Liver Disease, I was specifically told by numerous health care professionals to stop with the cheese...I still longed for her.

Aside from countless moments of pleasure, the only positive thing I ever got from cheese was calcium. This forced me to take a long hard look at my life and where cheese was taking me. Did I have long term potential with cheese? Just how much was I willing to give up to keep cheese in my life? How different or potentially better could my life be if I opened my heart to someone healthier for me? Sure cheese is always up for a good time, but maybe I want more than cheese is able to give me.

This is still an ongoing battle for me, although I think I'm much closer to a conclusion than I was a few years ago. Maybe after all this time I need to just let go. But NO ONE can diminish what we had.