21st Century Disney

We all grew up with these movies and most of us probably loved them, but let's take a moment to dissect them and put them into 21st century dating. Imagine the following conversations amongst friends:

Cinderella

Man: I'm in love!
Friend: Tell me about her
Man: I might her last night at this club. She was the hottest chick up in there, everyone was checking her out.
Friend: What's she look like?
Man: I don't remember.
Friend: Okay, what's her name?
Man: I don't know.
Friend: What do you know about her?
Man: She's a real good dancer. (pulls a single shoe out of knapsack) And she's got good taste in shoes.
Friend: Why the hell do you have her shoe?
Man:She bolted right at midnight, left so quick she left her shoe behind.
Friend: Did you check if she's got an ankle bracelet? Sounds like this chick is on parole. Probably trying to make curfew.
Man: I don't know we didn't really talk. But she's the one.
Friend: Okay bro, what's the plan?
Man: I'm going door to door with this shoe to see who it belongs to.


right......psycho stalker much?!


The Little Mermaid

Ariel: I have to tell you about this guy I'm in love with.
Friend: Details please.
Ariel: I spotted him at a party last night. He's so sexy. Wavy brown hair, deep set eyes, and a body I want to do naughty things too.
Friend: Your dad let you out last night?
Ariel: No I snuck out, it was a college party. He wouldn't have let me go.
Friend: So what happened?
Ariel: Well he got real drunk and I helped him out to the curb where he threw up and passed out. All his friends had bailed on him. Then I sang to him.
Friend: You did what?
Ariel: I sang to him. He's the man of my dreams.
Friend: Ariel you're only sixteen, you know you're dad won't let you date until you're out of high school.
Ariel: I know, that's why I'm moving out; changing my name, and going to follow him until he falls in love with me too. I would sell my soul to the devil to be with him.
Friend: That's crazy. What do you even know about him?
Ariel: That's he's a hot college guy, have you not been listening to me?!

Enough said there....


Sleeping Beauty

Man: I have a serious problem with this girl I'm into.
Friend: What's going on?
Man: She's in a coma.
Friend: What happened?
Man: She has a problem with needles.
Friend: You need to stay away from that shit.
Man: But I love her.
Friend: What do you even know about this chick?
Man: That she's in a coma because of needles.


That one was short and sweet.

Snow White

Friend: We need to have a serious talk about your girlfriend.
Man: Isn't she great? Beautiful pale skin, dark hair.
Friend: She's got such white skin because she never leaves home. She's too busy sleeping in all her roommates beds.
Man: Hey, just because a girl lives with seven guys doesn't mean she's sleazy.
Friend: Okay how about the fact that she talks to animals.
Man: She's sensitive and into nature.
Friend: Dude, she thinks that they talk back to her. That's fucked up.
Man: You don't know her like I do.
Friend: What about all her family drama? Her mom put her into anaphilactic shock by giving her a shitload of peanuts. She knew her kid had peanut allergies.
Man: That was a misunderstanding.