Prep School Sins Opening Scene

Free Flow Friday: Upon the advice of my awesome critique partner Julie, I completely rewrote the opening scene to my first MS "Prep School Sins". Feedback would be greatly appreciated.


DANI
August 26, 2000. On a gorgeous afternoon the Saturday before classes the students of Stanobia Academy were scattered across the front lawn like ants on a picnic blanket. Since most students were local kids they had already settled into their dorms and were out enjoying the day in their little social clusters. Dani was always the odd man out in her group of friends. Maybe it was because she was the only girl or maybe because the other four seemed to naturally pair off. Regardless she was playing swing quarterback in an informal game of tag football.
She hooked her arms around Caleb and Perry’s necks in a huddle. Before she spoke she glared over at Tyler and Reed a few yards away, “Tyler’s head isn’t in the game. He’s too caught up in the whole bonfire crap. Let’s use that to our advantage.”
Caleb motioned over to Reed, “I don’t think Reed’s head is in the game either.”
All three of them glanced in Reed’s direction. He appeared to be flirting with a group of freshman girls. Dani wasn’t surprised when one of them slapped him across the face and Reed shouted after her as she walked away, “You know daddy likes it rough. Get that sweet ass back here!”
Dani rolled her eyes, “Remind me why we aren’t playing tackle again?”
Perry’s soulful eyes looked at Dani, “The rest of us are so much bigger than you. You could get hurt.”
Dani laughed, “Perry don’t be such a pussy. I’m your girlfriend, not your kid sister and I can take care of myself. Be a man and knock Reed on his ass.” She turned to Caleb, “Go long and I’ll handle the rest.”
Tyler shouted, “Are you guys ready yet? I’m on a tight schedule today.”
Dani shouted back, “Keep your panties on!” She nodded at both Perry and Caleb, then they broke apart.
Reed was eyeing a girl sunbathing on a blanket when Perry ran into him and tackled him to the ground. Dani had to keep herself from laughing as she threw the ball to Caleb in the imaginary end zone. Tyler shook his head at Reed for losing them the game. After Perry got up he offered his hand to Reed, “No hard feelings?”
Reed played it cool, “Hey, I look so good I’m used to getting jumped. I just didn’t expect it from you man. Is Dani not holding up her end in the bedroom?”
As Dani joined them she said to Reed, “Oh believe me I’m more than doing my part. I’m surprised Perry has any energy left over for swimming.”
Tyler changed the subject, “Dani, isn’t your new roommate moving in today?”
She shrugged, “Yeah, I think so.”
Reed’s interest peaked, “New roommate?”
Perry said, “Jesus Reed, she isn’t even on campus yet and you’re already planning on molesting her.”
Reed said, “This isn’t just about me, maybe this is the girl that will finally swipe Caleb’s V card.” It was the running joke that Caleb was the only remaining virgin among them.
Caleb blushed, “There are more things to life than sex.”
Reed laughed, “Says the guy whose never gotten any.”
Tyler picked a clipboard off the grass nearby and scolded everyone with his hazel eyes, “Anyways, it says here her name is Lauren Knapp and she’s a junior transfer from NY.”
Reed tried looking over Tyler’s shoulder at the clipboard, “Damn CIA! What else does it say about her? Measurements? Sexual aptitude?”
Tyler held the clipboard against his chest, “Student Council members are privy to information on new students. Dani, you should bring her by the bonfire tonight so we can all meet her.”
Dani crossed her arms, “Just because she’s my roommate doesn’t mean I have to play babysitter. She's a big girl, a junior just like us. She can fend for herself.”
Reed smirked, “I’d be more than happy to make her feel welcome.”
Dani snapped, “By how? Giving the girl a VD?”
Perry stood between Dani and Reed, “Can you two behave for five minutes?”
Dani said, “Reed’s a pig.”
Reed replied, “Dani’s a dyke.”
Caleb offered, “Dani this is exactly why a female friend might be good for you.”
Dani stated, “What do I need a female friend for? I don’t like girls. They’re completely superficial. Make-up, shopping, oh my god I broke a nail. Whatever! Just because the school insisted on throwing some newbie in my lap doesn’t mean we’re going to stay up all night braiding each other’s hair and planning our future weddings.”
Tyler said, “Dani, you’ve been in denial for sixteen years, but the fact remains you are a girl. Girls need each other to bond over girl things.”
Dani asked, “Like what?”
Reed didn’t miss a beat, “Blow-job techniques.”
Dani slugged Reed in the arm before announcing, “I’m heading back to my room. Perry care to join me?”
A smile crept along Perry’s face, “Yeah, hey I’ll catch you guys tonight at the bonfire.”
Caleb, Reed, and Tyler split off into three different directions. Dani and Perry walked side by side back towards the large brick dorms. She glanced over at the other brick building on campus, the school, and thought about how classes started on Monday. Dani hated school, at least the academic part, but the start of classes meant the start of swim season and that was something she always looked forward to. Perry reached out for Dani’s hand, but she pulled it away.
She asked, “What are you doing?”
Perry reasoned, “I don’t know, I thought after more than two years of dating we could try something new.”
Dani gave him a look, “Yeah, we could try something new sexually because I’m always up for that, but hand holding? Come on, you know better.”
Perry pushed his long hair behind his ears, “Maybe I’m gonna head off and find some of the swim team.”
Dani stopped walking, “Seriously? You’re upset?”
Perry face softened, “Dani, maybe I want more than sex from you.”
Dani joked, “Is there anything else?"
Perry shook his head, “For all the ragging you do on Reed, you are just like him. The difference is that he whores himself around and you only do it with me. It’s still all sex all the time.”
Dani threw his hands in the air, “How did I end up with the only sixteen year old boy that doesn’t like sex?”
Perry moved close enough to her so she could smell his breath, “You know I like sex Dani. The way it feels to be inside you. Your warm body against mine.”
Dani was getting aroused, “So let’s go back to my room and you can show me.”
Perry hesitated, “I don’t know.”
Dani looked down at his crouch, “If you’re not up for it, then I understand.”
Perry took the bait, “Do you think we have enough time before your roommate gets here?”
Dani winked, “If she’s already there I don’t mind, maybe we could teach her a thing or two.” Perry leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away. Then she said, “You can put your lips anywhere you want on my body once we’re behind closed doors.” Dani hated any public display of affection, but it didn’t seem to stop Perry from trying every once in a while.

When they got back to her dorm room Dani was ready to pounce on Perry, but they weren’t alone. On the once vacant side of the room was a short girl and what was most likely her parents. The middle aged man stepped forward, “You must be Danielle.”
Dani cringed at the use of her full name, “Call me Dani, my own parents don’t even call me Danielle.”
The man smiled, “Fair enough. I’m Eddie Knapp, this is my wife Lola and my daughter Lauren.” He put out his hand for a shake.
Dani shook his hand and replied, “This is my boyfriend Perry.”
Dani surveyed Lauren’s side of the room. The bed was made, the computer was set up on the desk, and the closet was filled with clothes both school and non school. It didn’t take long for this girl to settle in. At least that meant they wouldn’t be asking Dani for any help. Then Dani studied Lauren. She had a small frame, but a disproportionately large chest. Reed would love her if she didn’t turn out to be some sort of prude. Lauren had dark curly hair, large brown eyes, and fair skin. Dani could admit to herself that this girl was cute. Dani offered in Lauren's direction, “Hey.”
Lauren immediately got up and walked towards Dani. Dani didn’t give a shit that Lauren’s parents were right there if this girl hugged her Dani would deck her. Lauren replied, “Nice to meet you Dani.”
Lola addressed Lauren, “Honey, we have a long drive back so we better get going. You can call us at anytime if you want to talk.” Lauren hugged both of her parents goodbye. Lauren’s eyes followed her parents as they left the room and then she looked over expectantly at Dani.
Perry broke the awkward silence, “I’m going to head out. See you both later on.”
Dani gave him a pleading stare to not leave him alone with new weird girl, but Perry left anyways. Dani sat down on her own bed clueless for how to proceed next. She had had the same group of friends for her entire life, so this whole getting to know you thing was foreign to her. Most importantly she wasn’t really interested in making any new friends. Dani would stay on her side of the room, Lauren could stay on hers, and they would function as roommates. Nothing more, just as Dani had done with her two previous ones.
Lauren spoke, “The whole switch from public to private high school is so jarring for me. I didn’t even know which version of the uniform to get, so my parents got me a little of everything. And then of course I brought some regular, er I mean, normal, um, other clothes for the weekends you know if I go out and do something. Not that I would have any clue what there is to do around here.” She fell down onto her bed, “I’m rambling, I’m sorry. I’m just really nervous.”
Dani just sat there staring at her. What was she supposed to do? This girl didn’t know the town, the school, or have any friends. Already Lauren seemed like a whole lot of work. Dani replied, “There’s a bonfire tonight. The whole school will probably be there, it’s this kick off thing we do at the start of every year. You could tag along if you want.” Dani’s plan was to show her where it was and then Lauren could figure things out on her own.
Lauren let out a sigh, “That would be great. Maybe you could introduce me to some people.”
Dani shrugged, “Maybe. Listen I just finished running around outside, so I’m gonna shower.”
Lauren stood up, “Maybe I’ll freshen up too. Can you show me where the showers are?”
Dani nodded, “Sure.”
Lauren grabbed her own towel and a plastic basket full of toiletries. Then she grabbed a robe. She started to walk towards Dani, but doubled back to her closet, “Should I bring my clothes too?”
Dani couldn’t stifle her giggle. Lauren needed a shower to wash some of that desperation off of her.