Fighting an Addiction One Bite at a Time

The Nobody Interview. Today we talk with my good friend Linda Gentile about her struggle and survival with an eating disorder for more than a decade.

1. How do we know each other?

We met at Nyack High School our sophomore year of high school.

2. What is your diagnosis? And when were you diagnosed?

I was diagnosed as a purging Anorexic my junior year of high school(1997). That year was also when I started self-inflicting(cutting). I was also diagnosed that year with Social Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In 2003 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. In 2007 I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder.

3. Regarding your anorexia, what kind of treatments have your undergone?

I was placed in Rockland Children's Psychiatric Center when I was 16 at the weight of 74 lbs. While there I was placed on bathroom restriction to make sure I didn't purge. I also needed to eat a certain amount of food daily. I had a few other hospital stays. I went to weekly therapy and was placed on anti-depressants. In addition I attended eating disorder support groups. Last year after a relapse I was placed on an extra anti-depressant to help me gain weight.

4. Do you know what started it all? Was there an event?

It didn't just happen all at once. I was teased for being a chubby kid a lot. I stopped eating breakfast first around 7th grade. I also got braces my 8th grade year. Due to the pain I started to eat less and in turn lost weight. I received a lot of complaints. My freshman year of high school I stopped eating lunch and lost even more weight. My father died mid freshman year. I didn't know it then ,but this would become a catalyst for my illness. My braces were removed right before sophomore year. You would think I would start eating more, but it became the opposite. I could go without eating breakfast and lunch so I decided to start skipping dinner as well. This year I suffered another "loss" or what later I came to view as another person "abandoning" me. My best friend moved to Arizona. I now know through therapy that my eating or restricting my food intake was a way of having control in my life. I couldn't control what happened with my father and I couldn't control that my best friend moved away. After a while people started to notice I wasn't eating. I decided then I would eat to make them happy and retreat to the bathroom to purge it. I figured that way we would all win.

5. Why do you think this addictive behavior could be considered harder in some ways than a drug addiction?

I definitely think this addiction can be a lot harder than drug or alcohol addictions. You can chose to stay away from people that do drugs. You can chose not to go into places like bars. Food is something you have to deal with everyday. You can't avoid it. It is really hard for me to be around people that are dieting. It can start my mind into the whole: "Why aren't you dieting? You can afford to lose some weight. Skipping a few meals won't hurt." The images I see all over of what women are "supposed" to look like also adds on extra pressure. I will never be cured. I don't believe there is a cure for anorexia. I believe it is similar to being an alcoholic in that manner. I will always be a recovering anorexic. When things get really out of control it will always be there for me to slip back into. I need to fight everday to keep that from happening.

6. Because you have been battling anorexia for so long, have you suffered some long term side effects as a result?

Since I started early on in my adolescence I am a very high risk for developing osteoporosis before I am 30. My bones and muscles are very week. As a result of the purging I have ripped apart my stomach lining. Which makes digesting things harder. I have also damaged my teeth through the amount of stomach acid that came up. Through all of the stress I have put upon my body I have really weakened my immune system.

7. No two people are the same. What coping strategies have worked best for you personally?

Writing has been a huge coping strategy for me. I also listen to music, watch TV, play with my pets. Another thing that helps with me is talking to someone. Out of all the therapy I have had I found group sessions to be the most helpful

8. In what way have you faced prejudice because of your condition?

People have viewed me as "crazy" or not worth their time. A lot of people have past judgments without even knowing me or taking the time to get to know me. I have been accused of trying to get attention which was and is the furthest thing from my mind. You are trying to disappear literally. I just face a lot of ignorance. People just assume you are "crazy" and are a "plague" on society.

9. You mentioned earlier that you are a "purging anorexic". What is the difference between a purging anorexic, a bulimic, and a non-purging anorexic?

I wasn't strictly an anorexic because I did purge. However I was not a bulimic because I did not binge. For example if I ate an apple in a two day period I would feel the need to purge.

10. I want to thank you for opening up to us about something so personal. It takes a lot of courage to go what you go through and talk about it. I always like to end my interviews on a positive note. So, if you could be any breakfast cereal what would you be and why?

I would be "Frosted Mini- Wheats" because they are small like me, good stuff on the inside, and sweet on the outside.