Slaying the Stigma

This is my first "Nobody Interview". The subject is Kellie Roylance- Canestrari. Since May is Mental Health Month I felt inspired to kick off the interviews talking about Mental Illness. I would like to thank Kellie for agreeing to participate and being so open about her condition with all of us.

1. How do we know each other?

We have a mutual friend and used to work together

2. Have you been formerly diagnosed?
and if so, what is your diagnosis?

Yes - previously diagnosed with depression.....recently in December diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder

3.What is the hardest thing about living with a mental illness?

The stigma associated with it. The misconception that I cannot live with a mental illness and be a good mother to my children. That I cannot handle any "stress"......that I need someone to take care of me.

4. You have two young children. How much of your condition are they aware of?

Chaz (her son) especially knows that I have a therapist as he does - I tell him that this is someone that I go and talk to about how I feel - it's someone that is not my friend or my family.....they just listen and help me stay strong. As far as my actual diagnosis, they really don't know anything......when I attempted suicide, they were told that I was very tired and needed to take a rest to get stronger. They see me take my meds and I tell them that they help me stay strong so that I don't have to go into the hospital again.

5. No two people that suffer from Mental Illness are the same, even if they are suffering from the same condition. What has personally helped you along the way? What hasn't?

My spirituality has helped me tremendously. It keeps me focused on what really matters. It keeps me in touch with my body. My children are an amazing source of strength to me - just looking in their eyes or hearing their voice. It is immeasurable.
"Friends" who are judgemental of me or my behavior while "cycling" down has never helped me. After all is said and done, and the dust has settled, I look around and see those still standing by my side......that is what really matters. Not those who treat me like a mental patient even when I am not in the hospital.

6. How many times have you been in the hospital? Why do you think in general so many people that suffer with Mental Illness end up hospitalized several times?

Twice. For people suffering from conditions like depression or bipolar, I think it is an issue of medication. The medication either stops working or the person stops taking it. For more severe conditions like schizophrenia, I honestly don't think our society knows how to handle these people. The police see them as out of control and treat them like criminals. That ends up in another hospitalization.

7. You told us how you explained to your children your condition, but how do you explain it to the adults in your life who don't understand?

I tell them my brain has a short circuit somewhere......my highs are really high and my lows are really low. My medication helps to regulate this so that I can live a "normal" life on an even keel.

8. How did you find the right medication? Are you on the right medication in your opinion?

I believe it was thru trial and error. Working with my psychology team to find the right "cocktail".......and I don't know yet if I am on the right medication. The side effects of Lithium are exactly my favorite - weight gain, trembles, did I mention weight gain? Dry skin, weight gain. But mentally it has given me some balance.

9. Many remain "closeted" about their conditions because of the stigma and judgments that you talk about. I admire your bravery about being so open. Were you always this way when it came to your Mental Illness? Any advice you can give others who may still be trying to find the strength?

I suppose I was always so open. It was a part of me - I had to own it in order to be able to live with it. If I hide it and stuff it down, then I am living a lie, aren't I? And I refuse to do that. My advice would be just that - to own it. To accept it as a part of you. Love yourself - all the parts, even the mental illness. It makes you who you are.

10. I want to thank you once again for not only being part of my "Nobody Interviews" on my blog, although you a definitely a huge somebody to me, to end things on a lighter note I have a silly question I will end all my interviews on. If you could be any type of breakfast cereal, what would you be and why?

Honey Bunches of Oats - Not only am I good for you but I am sweet with a little crunch too! :)