115 N Holmes St: Daphne
Being on your own is a scary thing. Growing up I was part of a big family, then I had roommates and suite mates all throughout college, and lastly there was my husband. Him and I used to do everything together at least until we started to slip away from one another. Often I filled our time apart being surrounded by others, anything to avoid being alone.
Those first few weeks in the house by myself post divorce I remember that everything echoed in the vast emptiness. Unfortunately I had made the choice many years back to move away from my family and friends in order to be closer to his. They were so warm and inviting until suddenly they weren't. It became painfully clear that they had always belonged to him and now that I no longer did I was of no use to them.
Maggie, Mike, and Louwin filled my home in a way that was so much more than I could have imagined. We became our own dysfunctional little family. One day during one of our dinners I just sat back and watched them all interact with one another. I was absently playing with the food on my plate, delicious as always, but my mind and appetite were elsewhere. Why in my thirties am I acting like a shy child desperately clinging to others to form a false sense of self?
After dinner I went up to my room on a scavenger hunt. The little black dress I never wear, the black lacy underwear that still had tags on it, and those red wedges still in the box. These items much like me are just sitting idly by collecting dust. Time to reconnect with myself. I blew out my hair, put on make up, located a long forgotten razor (parts of me were strongly representing Chewbacca), and then slipped into my sexy ensemble.
You may think this sounds completely ridiculous but that night was about having some special time with myself. Was there the occasional man flirting with me, yes. I didn't care because this wasn't about attracting a man's attention. Walking around the mall weaving in and out of stores just to pass the time. Then I randomly decided to see an IMAX movie. At the end of the night I stopped off at an ice cream parlor to gorge on a giant sundae. There was no one else to entertain or impress, just me. And I have to say it was by far the best date I ever had.
No comments:
Post a Comment