When I was twenty five and living in South Carolina I took on a part time job as a movie theater usher. This was to help supplement my income although it also ended up supplementing my social life too.
Much like high school and college I found myself drawn to people younger than me. Unfortunately while living down South I failed to fortify many solid friendships: blame it on me being Pagan, Liberal, Bisexual, or just plain me. Most likely is was a colorful combination of the above. And younger people didn't seem to give a shit about all that. They actually found me funny, cool, and smart which is proof of the downhill direction today's youth were heading.
Anyways I digress. This was like my second chance at high school without the academic pressures. For a while I really looked forward to my shifts at the theater feeling accepted and appreciated for who I was, this has consistently been such a rarity in my life. Then I think one day it kind of hit me...I'm that creepy older person that hangs with high school kids?! Ewwww.
Thankfully I was able to ditch both of my poorly paying jobs for a much higher paying single job. When I left the theater gig I distanced myself from my "friends". You can't over go back. This was some pathetic attempt at me to rewrite history and I can't. I will never be the beautiful popular cool girl and I have to be okay with that. As long as I desperately cling onto some diluted fantasy of what I want to be I will never be able to love and appreciate all that I already am.
For the people back in the day who didn't want to get to know me, it was completely their loss because I am kind of amazing in a goofy silly one in a million way.
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