115 N Holmes Street: Daphne

Happily Ever After was clearly something that only existed on a fictional level. Love at first sight is really lust. Romance is a game con-artists play. And "til death due you part" really means until one of you gets bored or finds something better. It's all bullshit. Every time I see some lovey dovey couple holding hands, smooching, and staring longingly into each other's eyes it takes every bit of strength in me not to shout "He's probably fucking someone else behind your back. That rash isn't just as rash sweet heart!"


I wasn't always this bitter old cynical hag. Well I'm not that only, only twenty nine. On my next birthday I'll be officially old. Back in the day I was one of those love sick saps, but a failed marriage can bring out the ugly in anyone. Aaron decided after three and a half years I wasn't what he wanted after all. So he left in pursuit of something younger, shinier, thinner, and prettier than what he had discarded.

Four years ago when we were that young couple madly in love we had dreams. We talked about starting a family, at least three kids, and wanted a nice big house to raise them in. Through the Internet, magazines, and open houses we must have seen over 100 houses. Plenty of them were nice enough, I just felt like it wasn't the right one. The rainy Saturday morning we pulled up to 115 N Holmes Street I just knew this was it. I could feel it in every part of my body.

Four bedrooms; two large and two small. Original hardwood floors. Plenty of windows in every room. Open floor plan on the first floor. Original brick fire place in the back room. Full basement and full attic. Half walls with pillars separating the rooms downstairs. Detached two gar garage. No words actually left my lips, it was expressed in a look that told Aaron our seemingly endless search was over.

Fast forward to present day. The house had always been my dream, not his, which was why getting it in the divorce settlement was easy. Thankfully we had managed to put a sizable down payment on the house and Aaron had insisted on sending in extra payments the first few years to get ahead before we started a family. The mortgage on my own would be manageable, but I wouldn't be able to afford much else.

It was a large house. The downstairs was fully furnished. Once again Aaron wanted a fresh start and had zero interest in any of our "crap" as he called it. The upstairs was barren except for my bedroom and private bathroom. The roommate idea made sense to me on two levels: additional income and to repel loneliness. The litter of kids never happened and I guess I should be grateful for that. But now I have the house of my dreams with no one to share it with.

Apprehensively I put a posting up on Craigslist:

Room for rent $600/month which includes all utilities. Full access to rest of house. In charge of own meals. Off street parking. No smokers, no kids, no pets.


Within the first day I had my inbox overflowing with prospective roomies/tenants. Since I was going to be living with this person I wanted to be picky. This is when I learned that life is a series of interviews. Their email response to my ad was interview #1. I managed to narrow it down to ten people I wanted to have phone interviews with. After the calls I had five people I was willing to meet in person at my house. There was no concrete decision at this point as to whether I would have one or two roommates.

If only Aaron knew that his sister Theresa and I were still in contact. More than that, her and I were still friends. She insisted she be present if I was going to allow complete strangers into my home. I almost want to kick myself for not having a videotape for some of the people that came to my house.

Interview #1 Blaire, 26 year old black man. He's a single dad, the kids mostly stay with their moms. (Yes, moms. Five kids, three different moms) He knew the ad said "no kids", but would it be okay if they came to visit on the weekends and some week nights. They most likely wouldn't spend the night and he'd try to keep them from anything breakable or valuable. NEXT!

Interview #2 Casey, 42 year old white woman, seemed nice at first until she admitted she's a recovering addict just trying to get back on her feet. She said it's unfair how many people won't give ex-felons a chance. It's not like her crime was anything violent....she pawned her last landlord's furniture for drug money. NEXT!

Interview #3 Maggie, 57 year old Hispanic woman, cleans houses for a living. For twenty years she was a live-in nanny for a family a few towns over. Unfortunately she doesn't have any family of her own. This is when the bartering idea hit me; cut down the rent to get some services. I asked Maggie if she would mind cooking dinner during the week and doing some light cleaning for a reduced rent? She gladly agreed.

Not that I'm a messy person, but I've never been a fan of house work. So things get dusty and the floor gets a little grimy from time to time. This house is a lot to maintain on my own. And cooking, well let's just say I'm the take-out queen. Some nice home cooking would be just fine by me. I gave Maggie the official tour. She fell in love with the second big bedroom particularly because of the bay window. She told me she loves to cuddle up with a good book.

We agreed she'd move in on the first of the month in two weeks. She gave me security in cash to hold the room for her. When she moved in she would give me the first month's rent. I would have been perfectly happy with just Maggie, but out of curiosity I interviewed the next two people.

Interview #4 Ming, 18 year old Asian female, will be attending school in the fall. She was very sweet and well mannered but my concern was her lack of income. She explained her parents would be paying her rent. I'm just not sure how reliable that is and she was so young. I had to think about who my personality would click with too. I thanked her for coming and politely said I just didn't think we were a good fit.

Interview #5 Randy, 34 year old white male. He worked in construction and brought his friend Mike along. Mike actually drove him there since Randy currently didn't have a means of transportation. He was newly divorced, no kids, and very very good looking. The problem with him living with me was really more of my problem. I was emotionally vulnerable and horny, not a good combination with a sexy single man living under the same roof. Before I could think up some lame excuse Randy beat me to it, he needed to be near a buss line.

Out of nowhere Mike asked me, "Who does the repair work on your home?"

Aaron had said on more than one occasion this house was a money pit. It's true at nearly eighty years old problems just kept arising: leaky basement, outdated plumbing, insulation issues. Since the divorce I had been putting off getting certain things done until my income stabilized.

Roomie/tenant #2 Mike. Twenty six year old white male. Handy man subcontractor. His rent would be free in exchange for him to fix all the things that need fixing.