Parenthood

I will start this off with a disclaimer: I am not a parent, so I am by no means an expert on parenting. I do however have two wonderful parents and have played the role of keen observer during several years of babysitting, working day care, and being around family members and friends who are parents. I think what I do know pretty well is kids and being a former brat supreme, I know what tends to keep kids in line and what doesn’t. This is of course secluding any kids with certain medical or developmental disabilities. I’m not even going to address the degenerates that put their kids in microwave ovens or drown them in rivers, but rather the everyday folk we come across on the regular.


Growing up there was a rule in my house: running is for playgrounds an outdoors. Believe it or not this is not a unique rule as I have seen it applied in the majority of the households I have frequented throughout my life. But my upstairs neighbor who has his kids every other weekend apparently does not have this rule. So when his kids come over I hear the yelling, screaming, stomping of the feet, running, then crying when they fall down and hurt themselves (this happens several times) until all hours of the night. Nevermind that they shouldn’t be running in doors because they could fall and get hurt as they do, but it’s also an apartment and you need to be respectful of your neighbors. We ALL hear his kids. When I politely asked him if he could keep the noise down, he shrugged and said “They’re 3 and 5 years old, what am I supposed to do?” I bit my tongue and didn’t respond with the obvious answer “Be a parent!”

This whole running and screaming things applies in public places like restaurants. Countless times I see parents ignore their kids while they tend to the other adults at the table. The kids run around, jump in the seat, throw things at other tables, and scream. Maybe this is okay at a family restaurant like friendly’s but not a fancier sit down restaurant where two people easily pay $80 to eat….for like a special occasion. I have seen wait staff get knocked over, people end up with foreign objects at their table, and the funny thing is that if someone complains the parents have this great look of shock like “Not my precious angels.” It doesn’t have to be a restaurant: kids going the wrong way on escalators, kids knocking things off shelves and destroying merchandise at stores, kids throwing food at each other in the movie theatre, kids literally playing in traffic.

Then there’s the school thing. Not every kid is a natural genius, actually most aren’t myself included. The teacher provides a basic path, but then the parents need to continue the lesson at home. It’s so sad when you see a perfectly capable child not doing well in school because they are getting zero support at home. Some parents expect the teachers to do EVERYTHING and with a class of 29 other students, they can’t babsit your child every day all day.

Although I am currently not a parent, but someday hope to be, I can tell you that when I do have kids they will be a top priority. The following things are never more important than the well being of your child: you sex life, partying, going out drinking, shopping sprees, all nighters with your friends, overseas trips and vacations. There was a girl I worked with at my first job who constantly played the “It’s tough, I’m a single mother” card, but had n problem going out drinking with her girlfriends multiple nights a week. I saw her drop the kid off at baby daddies and then heard the “funny” drinking stories the next day at work. To be fair it’s not the kid hadn’t established his own sense of independence at age 3….she probably could have just left him at home by himself. Or this other girl I know that has a one year old and in the course of her daughter’s life is on boyfriend #2 or #3? She can’t pay for daycare, but told everyone about the expensive trip she took overseas recently for two weeks. Her daughter was left behind with grandma by the way.

There are some parents that a truly stellar. My good friend Jennessa has FOUR young kids. Are they perfect, no, but they’re damn good kids. This is a reflection of the parenting they receive. Like any kid they’re going to push boundaries, test limits, throw tantrums….but I have witnessed on too many occasions for it to be a coincidence that Jennessa and Brian throw down when they need to. They use this crazy thing called discipline. On the other hand you couldn’t find a more affectionate family who celebrates one another’s victories and comforts each other’s downfalls. These kids have manners, perform well in school, actually sit down and eat their food as oppose to flinging it at others, and are huggers! I have officially told J & B that when I have kids someday I would like to mentor under them.

My parents both worked full time jobs that required a 45 minute commute into the city each day. They were school teachers who dealt with other kids all day long, yet they always had time for me and my brother. Both my parents made home cooked meals, helped us with our homework, and showed up to support our extra curricular. I have no freakin clue how they managed to do this all in the same 24 hours the rest of us work with, but they did. They were firm and loving depending on what the situation called for.

Parenting is the most thankless job out there or so I am told. But there is this entire other being who looks up to you for guidance, support, values and you need to do right by them. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent.