Internet Romance (Confessional Tuesday)

It happened unexpectedly but I met someone, kind of. I was chatting with a guy I came across through www.writersmarket.com on a strictly friendship level for about the last couple of months. It started with him reading one of my blogs on that site about my battles with mental illness. He reached out to me because he could relate to what I was saying. It felt good. I have an amazing support system of friends and family, but none of them know what I battle each day and I would never wish it on them of course. When you meet someone who "gets you" on that level there's a bond others just wouldn't understand.

I also opened up to him about what was going on with Antonio and he listened. No real advice because he's never been there, but he had a very empathetic ear. Over the course of our conversations something happened and I ended up legitimately liking this guy. Then I found out from him that the feelings were mutual. The best part is that this guy knows the "worst" of me and is completely okay with it. Another lesson I learned from my failed marriage is that you can't just be with parts of who I am, you need to love and accept all of me. This is what I'm doing for myself.

I can't guarantee that this ISN'T a rebound and that's why I'm taking things slow. He also lives about 1500 miles away, so we can't have a real relationship at this point. We're talking on the phone every day and he's making plans to fly up here to meet me in September. In the meantime I told him I have to take care of myself, so I'm dating around and just having fun.

Is this crazy? Absolutely. But he makes me smile which a guy hasn't done for me in a long time. If things actually do work out with him that would be amazing, but if they don't I'll be okay with that too. the most important relationship to me right now is the one I have with myself. I am still focused on me and the things that I need to do to make me happy.