Resentment Rears it's Ugly Head (Confessional Tuesday)

Antonio and I were doing great ever since the decision for the divorce. We were both happier and had mature conversations about the steps we needed to take: dividing our stuff, selling the house, me getting my own health insurance.

Antonio initiated in the beginning that if we're going to be friends we need to be open and honest with one another about our dating. This isn't to say we would divulge every minute detail, but at least be comfortable with each other knowing that the other person is back out on the market. Rita said this was dangerous water we were treading, but I decided to trust Antonio.

So he asked me about my dates or the people I was potentially interested in. I in turn asked him and he kept telling me there wasn't anyone. Then I find out he's been spending a decent amount of time "hanging out" with an ex-girlfriend.

I'm not jealous, just upset that he lied to me. He said he didn't tell me because she didn't want him too. I explained that we made a promise to be 100% upfront with one another and she needs to understand that. HUGE FIGHT! The tension in the house the last few days has been so thick because he thinks I'm overreacting and I think he lied to me again...this was another issue in our marriage, his lying to me.

The other night I hear him on the phone trying to calm her down and explaining that I still want us to be friends, interesting wording, I want the friendship, not him or us, but me.

Our house will most likely go on the market August 15th. To anyone out there who prays to any kind of entity, please pray that we get an offer at the open house (most likely August 21) and we close by Oct 1st. I no longer want to be under the same roof as Antonio. I need my physical freedom and we both desperately need space from one another. Obviously his top priority is this new girl and not trying to save a 10 year friendship.

I deserve so much better than this.