Opening Old Wounds

Allan and Sarah are enjoying a nice cup of tea after a few hours of gardening on a beautiful Saturday. Evan storms into the house and slams the door. Sarah looks concerned, "Everything okay sweetheart?"

"Layla is such a bitch!"

"Evan!"

Allan tries to ease things, "I know she can be tough. More than once Calla has come home in near tears from one of those training sessions."

Evan rolls his eyes, "Calla and Adam have barely even been there for the past couple of weeks. They're always going on their nature walks."

Sarah smiles,"Nature walks? That sounds nice. Why don't you join them?"

Evan starts to walk upstairs as he shouts over his shoulder, "Spending hours with willow trees is not my idea of good time."

Sarah and Allan exchange looks. Since that night when Allan surprised Sarah at her front door eleven years ago they have successfully managed to avoid bringing up anything about their past romance. Challenging at times since they spent nearly every day together in some capacity especially with the close relationship of their grand children. Perhaps it was out of fear that neither one was willing to start the conversation that would open up very painful old wounds. But now with Evan's mention of the willows the elephant in the room had finally become far too large for them to ignore any longer.

Sarah wraps her hands around her warm mug, "I think things are getting too serious between the two of them."

"Why do you say that?"

Sarah flushes a bit, "Because they're having sex Allan. They are far too young."

Allan lets out a hearty laugh, "Sarah, they're teenagers and most teenagers have sex. I had no idea you were such a square."

"I can't believe you're completely okay with this."

He pulls her small hands into his much larger ones and looks deeply into her eyes. "They are in love. Don't you remember that euphoric feeling? Every touch, every kiss, every time your eyes locked with that person. Nothing else in the world seemed to matter. Time stood still."

She sighs, "It's just all happening so fast. It seems like yesterday they were coming off that kindergarten bus in a fit of giggles."

"Yes, but we can't keep them little forever. They grow up, we all do. We become adults who face difficult choices."

Sarah closes her eyes and brings herself back to that day as if it has just happened. Allan was sitting on the edge of the creek with his feet dipped in the cool water. His face lit up once he saw her approaching. Quickly he jumped up and began running towards her, but when she pushed her arms out he stopped dead in his tracks. "Sarah you're crying. What's wrong?" She refused his attempt to pull her into his arms.

Sarah took a deep breath. If she didn't do this immediately she would lose all her nerve. All it would take is one kiss from Allan and she would be forever his. It was time to put an end to all this. "We cannot be together anymore."

"What? Why? Did I do something?" Panic was painted all over his face.

She felt like she was the worst person in the world. Allan had been nothing but amazing to her from the moment they met. The letters, the swim lessons, the nature walks. Was it just the day before that he gently made love to her underneath the willows? Her heart broke at the thought that that would be the one and only time they shared themselves in that way with one another. There was no doubt in her mind that she would ever love anyone the way that she loved him. She needed to make a choice: follow her head or follow her heart?

"The only thing you did was to make me fall completely in love with you."

"Then why can't we be together? Is it because of the prophecy."

"It's not the prophecy. You know I don't put much faith in old tales. The truth is that I have been asked to become an elder. You know this is something I have been working towards for a very long time. Before our obligation to each other is our obligation to our circles."

"Sarah I can't imagine my life without you in it. Please don't do this. We are so good together." He tried once again to wrap his arms around her, but she backed away.

"This is the way it needs to be. I am sure our paths will cross again." She looked into his kind brown eyes now brimming over with tears. If she didn't walk away right now then she never would. She turned her back towards him and began what would seem like the longest journey she had ever taken. Each step was as heavy as her heart. The entire way she kept convincing herself this was the right thing to do even though it felt so wrong.


There they were sitting at her kitchen table reliving a memory that was probably better off left buried. The pain so fresh on both their faces. Sarah felt like she should apologize, but after all these years it didn't seem to make much sense. It was Allan who has been with her every step of the way for the past several years. She knows if it weren't for him she may not have mentally survived some of the stresses the boys have brought onto her. How had she gone all those years without him?

Allan finally let it out, "That was by far the worst day of my life. And you moved on so quickly. What were you married only a few months later? It's like what we had meant nothing."

"What we had meant everything and you know it. That was an arranged marriage Allan. He was a good friend, but I didn't love him. My heart always belonged to you. Besides you moved on too. I'm pretty sure Calla is proof of that, so don't act like you were pining away for me all these years."

Allan's eyes widened, "I am not sure what you heard, but I never married. The mother of my child was a friend. It was a completely physical thing between us. She is a fellow elder back in the village I grew up in. Great woman, but we weren't right for each other."

"Oh."

"Sarah I never moved on. You were always the one that got away and I never met a girl that could measure up to you. But I have a great life, I am very happy especially since you have come back into it."

"I know what you mean."