Good Men Don't Grow on Craigslist Trees

3/4 fictions, 1/4 truth


Two girlfriends sit next to eachother on a couch browsing Craigslist personal ads on a laptop.

Elena squealed, "I think I just threw up in my mouth."

Liz shrugged, "what? He's cute. Check out that photo."

"yeah, but look at what he wrote. 'Don't bother replying if you ate yourself fat'. I get he doesn't like big girls, but there was definitely a nicer way to put that."

"It's craigslist, niceness is not a requirment for posting ads. Actually I don't know if there are any requirments."

Elena's eyes widened as she clicked on another ad, "Ohmygod Liz, isn't that the guy you dated last spring? The title of his ad is 'I am what every woman wants.'"

"Well clearly not EVERY woman."

They both fall into a fit of giggles, then Elena shuts down the computer. "It's fine to read these for entertainment value, but let's face it quality guys don't post ads of craigslist. They just don't. You'll probably meet Mr.Wonderful when you least expect it like on a random grocery shopping Sunday or in an elevator like Calvin met his wife."

Liz sighs, "Calvin! Now why can't he be single? He's smart, well dressed, sweet."

"I agree, I'd do very naughty things to Calvin. I bet he has a huge..."

"ELENA!!!"

"What? I'm just saying he is Italian after all."

"You and your Italian men. Did you ever think of branching out?"

"What can I say, I have thing for the Italian boys. Eventually I'll meet one who loves me for me."

"They do love you for you, well at least your big boobs." Liz jabs Elena on the arm.

"I'm not the one who takes all these sultry pictures with her cell phone and then sexts them to people. Then you wonder why these men are only after you for one thing."

"Why so mean?"

"Not mean, just honest. You deserve better Liz, we both do. We're college educated women with careers who come from good families yet we drop our standards to avoid being single? Why? Look at some of the losers I've dated too. We need to make a pact."

"Like the diet and exercise one we've tried and failed five times?"

"No, one we'll actually stick to. Although we should revisit that one at some point, these jeans are not fitting me the way I would like. Anyways, no more scumbags, no more cruising for dudes on the internet, no more lowering our standards to be with someone, no more putting guys before the actual important things in our life."

"I know you're right, but I just get so lonely. I wonder if he's ever going to come."

"Me too, I just think we keep settling for Mr. Right now instead of holding out for Mr. Right."

"You sound like a t-shirt."

Elena rolls her eyes, "Don't you want to break the pattern? You're the one standing in your own way."

"No more hooking up outside of relationships. No more sneding sexy photos to potential dates. No more craigslist freaks. Deal."

Elena beamed, "Good, now I think we should discuss our diet and exercise strategy over some ice cream sundaes"