Why even bother...

My mortgage company tells me they will not even consider my deed in leui of foreclosure application unless we list our house on the market for at least 90 days. Something the customer service rep failed to mention 30 days ago when I originally requested the application...

I just want to start my life over and begin to heal, but I can't do that as long as I'm living under the same roof as my ex-husband. We have been getting along very well the last month or so, but that doesn't mean this isn't emotionally trying for me. Living in my dream house that I can no longer have with the man I used to be in love with that broke my heart, I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone.

There's also the fact that I busted my ass to pack up 90% of my belongings which are now in my attic. So aside from my furniture, clothes, and toiletries I don't have access to many of my things.

My mortgage company would rather spend the time and money to forclose on me, then work with me in my time of hardship. They know I'll be out of a job by Nov 1st and divorced...

Why doesn't anything positive ever come my way? I feel as if I'm constantly being punished and don't know why. I put in everything I had to make this marriage work and he didn't. Now that I want to pick up the fragmented pieces of my life it's been one road block after another. Why can't someone somewhere cut me a break?

I'll be jobless and stuck in a home with a daily reminder of my heartbreak. Whenever I get my hopes up and think positive (like I did about this whole deed application) I get crushed with disappointment...