Confessional Tuesdays
I'm afraid I lost him and I don't know how to get him back. The few that know the details say that I shouldn't blame myself, but I do. All those years of dealing with the burdens that come along with my physical and mental health issues must have finally drained him. There's only so much someone can take. Most of the people who walked out on me didn't last nearly as long as he did.
I can't make him love me. I can't make him stay. And I can't change who or what I am as I have been trying for years. I just want him to be happy and if that's without me, then so be it.
I'm defective: mentally ill, physical ailments doctors can't diagnose or treat, and infertile. He could definitely do so much better and maybe after all these years he's finally realizing that. I'm fighting to fix things all by myself. I love him so much it hurts and I would do anything to make things right. But maybe it's me. It has to be me.
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About Me
- ElbieNy25
- "Scars are proof that we were brave enough to fight the battle and strong enough to survive it"-me 2008 Unfortunately/fortunately I have many scars from life, but I'm still here. I've been writing for over twenty years and just recently finished my first manuscript entitled "The Journey". I love peopl; they fascinate me with their stories, quirks, and mysterious ways.
5 comments:
Ellz, I really really hope things work out. The only thing you can do is be the best you. Work on that. We're all defective, so no matter. And I know you're a wonderful person.
*HUGZ*
Dont forget: HE SIGNED UP FOR THIS!! He knew all about most of those issues prior to saying "I Do" and the best way to deal with things is to do it together! I think it may be time to stop making excuses and invest in the wellbeing of the both of you (attend counseling together or even seperate). I REFUSE to believe that everything shared and developed between the two of you is lost...dont give up! If you have faught for anything in your life...NOW is the time! We will continue to support you and push you along through this while we stand by while you vent and offer ways to temporarily escape...hold your head high and while you tell yourself "I know I can" and "Things will work out"...BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN!!
Couples counseling's good. If he'll agree. But both people have to want it.
And it's never one person's fault. If you're doing the best you can, he can't ask for more. If he does, and you don't have it to give, then so be it.
Stop the pity party. Use medication if you have to.
So you're defective. Aren't we all? It's just that some of us are lucky enough to find someone willing to put up with us. (And us them.)
I hope it works out but if it doesn't, you'll stand on your own and choose your own path and make your own way and and stop looking back. And in the end you'll be stronger than ever.
You are not defective. You are human, no one is perfect and no one ever will be. Love is unconditional, he needs to see that.
Yes, there is a lot going on and a lot that is out of your hands. But don't take all the blame upon yourself.
I'm sorry that you are facing another challenge in your life that is making you feel the pain that is engulfing you at this moment.
Breathe Laura. You are just one person. Reach out to anyone, all of us. But don't feel like you have to do this alone. You are not alone.
Don't regress, push forward. I believe in you and your strength that has brought you this far.
I hope things are looking up. Here if you need me. XOXO
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